So I got my hair cut the other day and while I miss my long mermaid hair, I really love how it turned out. I felt really good the rest of the day, and I went shopping for some new shorts and got a couple nice things on sale for myself. So, it was a good day and I was feelin myself completely. Days like that are few and far between and short-lived, but always worth noting because I feel like myself when I’m happy. It wasn’t just because of material things and changes to my appearance, although those helped enhance my confidence a lot, it was really a happiness from within and a realization that I am a beautiful person no matter what I look like. I am a beautiful human being and I deserve to feel that all the time, from within, to love myself from within all the time. It’s hard but I’m getting better at it.
I want to be strong and find strength in myself, and not feel so little anymore. I mean, I’m a small girl, but that’s irrelevant. I’ve got to love myself more and stop comparing myself to others in every way, and look down on myself. I don’t need to and I definitely deserve better. I’m going through some tough times right now, learning to deal with my mental illness and let go of things that still hurt, but I’ll find strength in that.
There’s this song and video that have been helping me a lot lately. Birdy’s Wild Horses. Not only is the video totally my aesthetic (mermaids!!!!!!!!) but the lyrics really speak to me. It’s becoming my strength song and it’s very important to me.