girl
my hope is on fire

Brittany. 28. Libra. INxP. Bisexual. Psychology Student. Eclectic Pagan. Aphrodite. Hekate. Mermaids. Cats. Donuts. Kingdom Hearts. Final Fantasy. Cooking. Neuroscience. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tea. Kpop. Fleetwood Mac. Nail polish. Plaid. Eyeliner. Boots. Space. Charmed. Symphonic Metal. Crystals. Tarot. Sea Witchery. NCT. Within Temptation. Jun Hyosung. Writing. Merlin. Anthropology. AOA. Tsuritama. SHINee. Edgar Allan Poe. Girl's Day. Star Wars. Puppies. Utada Hikaru. Classic Hollywood. The Originals. Seashells. Singing. Pokemon. Rain. AC/DC. Astronomy. Candles.

currently
my dreams are for sale

Time: 1/26/19 @ 1:54am
Mood: Spacey
Music: AOA - Like a Cat
Watching: Music Videos
Doing: Updating thisl ayout
Song Stuck in Head: Within Temptation - Raise Your Banner
Playing: Waiting to play KH3
Obsessions: Kingdom Hearts, NCT

desktop
i dance on a wire

content
i don't want to fail her

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layout
she's lost in the darkness

Name: Fading Away
Features: Roxas and Xion of Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
Tools: Adobe Photoshop CS3, Notepad
Images: Took the screencaps myself and idk where I got the official renders sorry
Fonts: Bickham Script Pro, Felix Titling, Lainie Day SH, 04b03
Lyrics: Within Temptation - Lost
Comments: A very old layout I wanted to bring back because I got sick of my last layout and wanted to use a KH layout that I love a great deal. So, here's this. The main focus of this layout is Xion disappearing, bubbles of memories of her fading in the bg, her blurred out by Roxas' side, etc. The lyrics of this song really suit Xion and how Roxas might feel knowing deep down that something is missing--that Xion is missing. So it's a really important layout to me and I just wanted to use it again to bring in the KH3 hype!!!!

dead end
help me i'm buried alive

Hidama.net, its layouts, content, coding, and etc. is the personal property of Brittany © 2012-2018 with credited usage of images, lyrics, and etc. unless otherwise stated. Please note that password-protected entries are password-protected for a reason and the password is available to close friends only and that won't be changing anytime soon.

I AM DA SHEEP
00000 Monday 1 January 2018 @ 3:34 am

SO THIS YEAR WAS KIND OF SHIT. But at least there was some good music. Not much, though, I had a hard time putting that playlist together. Not as many jams.

Anyway, I made my serious reflection post so now it’s time for some goal-setting so I can come back and see what I accomplished a year from now. I have a hard time setting goals for myself because I’m really hard on myself for not meeting them all, or even one sometimes, and I want to work on fixing that.

So.

1. Set more goals
Lmao. I need to try to do this so I can be more productive throughout the year. Setting a goal for each month or week or something would be good. Nothing too strenuous, just enough to set things in motion.

2. Write more
I tried writing more in 2017 and did not. I wrote a lot of poetry for my poetry class, some of it was actually good, but I’m talking more journaling and stuff. I want to do more of that this year. I have a special Pokemon journal I bought alst year that I’ve barely used an it’s a CRIME IT IS SUCH A CUTE JOURNAL WITH THE EEVEELUTIONS AND PIKACHU I GOT IT FOR $10 AHHHHHHHHHHSKDFKSDF USE IT MORE LIKE WRITE ONCE A WEEK OR SOMETHING

3. Practice driving
Instead of putting the same goal of GET LICENSE year after year for the past 10 years I’d rather just set a goal to practice now. I have such a phobia of driving that it’s… well, it’s not funny. I just have to work on getting past it. Drive down the street. Drive around the parking lot. Drive around the neighborhood. Etc. I’m educated enough in psychology to know what systematic desensitization is and how to do it to myself, I’ve been doing it for years with my social anxiety, now I gotta do it with driving. Set up some incentives to practice, like if I drive down the street I can go get ice cream or something lmao I’ve got this.

4. Make progress towards getting Ph.D
Awkwardly phrased but eh. Gettign my Ph.D is a longterm goal and I want to at least get closer to it. I applied to two programs this year, so that’s one thing I accomplished in 2017. In 2018 I want to accomplish either getting in to one of those programs or trying again if I don’t get in. Moving is also part of this, as is preparing the house to sell and move. So there’s a lot of subgoals attached to this one but we’ll see how it goes.

5. More therapy
Both physical and mental. I need to start seeing my therapist like every 2-3 weeks if possible. It’s hard not being able to drive and needing a ride out there, especially in winter it’s more difficult, but we’ll see. And physical therapy is super important. I want to build up my muscles and get some strength in this tiny little weak body I have. So we gotta do this. And eat better and more often. Lots of subgoals here, too, but I’ll work that out later.

That’s all I’m gonna do for now. I might edit this post or write out a handwritten list later because that tends to help, to write things down by hand. Makes it more official.

But yeah. 2017 sucked. But let’s see what did I do this year. I graduated college. I went blonde again. I applied to grad schools, took the GRE… I gave a big presentation right after a bad panic attack. I saW STEVIE NICKS LIVE I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ALMOST LIKE A DREAM I SAW MY GODDESS LIVE WITH MY OWN EYEBALLS. And idk I just, I survived the year lmao I can’t think of too much. It was a fast year and I accomplished big things even if there were only a handful of them. It was a rough year, but here I am ready for another one.

So I don’t know, I might make another more legit goal post but for now this will do.

♥ Brittany

Filed under: goals, mental health, new year reflections