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Welcome to Brittany's recovery/vent blog. Here you will find entries based around my recovery process in regards to my mental illnesses. Entries may be triggering and, if so, will be password-protected or simply privated. Originally I'd intended for this to be a strictly positive place documenting my recovery, but I realized I need to acknowledge the darker as well as mundane things, too. Overall, this place is for me to document my recovery in all its ups and downs and if you want to see how it goes, feel free to browse around. Passwords will not be freely given for any aforementioned password-protected posts, however. Peace, yo - Brittany.

girl

Brittany. 26. Libra. INxP. Bisexual. Psychology Major. Eclectic Pagan. Hellenic Polytheism. Researcher. Mermaids. Cats. Donuts. Kingdom Hearts. Final Fantasy. Cooking. Neuroscience. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tea. Kpop. Tim Burton. Fleetwood Mac. Nail polish. Plaid. Eyeliner. Boots. Space. Charmed. Symphonic Metal. Drawing. Crystals. Tarot. Sea Witchery. Within Temptation. Jun Hyosung. Writing. Merlin. Anthropology. AOA. Tsuritama. Edgar Allan Poe. Girl's Day. Star Wars. Puppies. Utada Hikaru. Classic Hollywood. The Originals. Once Upon a Time. Seashells. Haikyuu. Singing. Pokemon. Rain. AC/DC. Dangan Ronpa. Astronomy. Candles.

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Name: Tempted
Features: Jun Hyosung
Tools: Adobe Photoshop CS3, Notepad
Fonts: Idk i think one is called Queen of the Night?? lmao idk
Lyrics: Collide - Tempted
Comments: I made this a while ago... two years ago... ish. But I like it a lot and I was getting tired of how dark the last layout was so I decided to reuse it. I like the colors and Hyosung is hot, that's about my only motivation here.

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Hidama.net, its layouts, content, coding, and etc. is the personal property of Brittany © 2012-2017 with credited usage of images, lyrics, and etc. unless otherwise stated. Please note that password-protected entries are password-protected for a reason and the password is available to close friends only and that won't be changing anytime soon.

i don’t have a clever song lyric for this
00000 Monday 4 December 2017 @ 2:26 am

I’ve been having body image issues lately. I don’t know why, but it’s been really bothersome and it’s something I need to work on getting over.

I never used to have problems with my body image. You’d think with age, that stuff would go away rather than crop up but nah, I do everything backwards so lmao why not this, too. I don’t want to go into details about like, what is bothering me exactly because it’s everything, really, very small stupid little thing. It’s not weight issues, I am underweight as it is so part of me is afraid of mentioning this for fear people will be like oh but you’re so tiny what is ur problem. Like, being tiny is part of the problem lmao I feel like I have the body of a 12 year old little girl and not a 27 year old woman. But I know that’s just me perceiving things that way. I’m just tired of being reminded by people how young I look, like yes, I know. Please stop telling me.

Hell, I have a hard time even calling myself a woman lmao but calling myself a girl is just as weird. Not a gender thing, just an age thing. I still feel like I’m in my early 20s even though I’m nearing 30. And that is another issue that’s being caused by my body image issues.

See, these issues are causing other issues, too, like I just feel so uncomfortable in my skin–which is probably my biggest body image issue, I have terrible skin and that has always been a problem. And I compare myself to everyone, which is the root of this problem. I never used to compare myself to people, therefore I never had body image issues. I didn’t pay attention to the media or have any cause for comparison. I still don’t have any real reason to compare myself to anyone, there never really is a good reason to do that. But things in my life prompted me to compare myself to other girls, specific girls, and now here I am with this mess.

I’m just tired of being so uncomfortable in my own body. I worry about how I speak and how I look and how I walk and how I breathe, even, just. This is something to work on in the coming year, I guess. Stop comparing myself to other people and work on building a stronger sense of self. Because I know, as I should as a psychology student, that body image is nothing more than how we perceive ourselves and it’s incredibly distorted sometimes. How I look to myself may not be how other people see me at all. Everyone has their own opinion and it shouldn’t matter to me what those opinions are. That’s part of what I’ve got to work on, not caring what other people think of me. Never used to care, again, it only happened in recent years.

I need to learn to trust myself more, too, and just… work on a lot. Loving myself, I guess.

♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, self love