So I got my hair cut the other day and while I miss my long mermaid hair, I really love how it turned out. I felt really good the rest of the day, and I went shopping for some new shorts and got a couple nice things on sale for myself. So, it was a good day and I was feelin myself completely. Days like that are few and far between and short-lived, but always worth noting because I feel like myself when I’m happy. It wasn’t just because of material things and changes to my appearance, although those helped enhance my confidence a lot, it was really a happiness from within and a realization that I am a beautiful person no matter what I look like. I am a beautiful human being and I deserve to feel that all the time, from within, to love myself from within all the time. It’s hard but I’m getting better at it.
I want to be strong and find strength in myself, and not feel so little anymore. I mean, I’m a small girl, but that’s irrelevant. I’ve got to love myself more and stop comparing myself to others in every way, and look down on myself. I don’t need to and I definitely deserve better. I’m going through some tough times right now, learning to deal with my mental illness and let go of things that still hurt, but I’ll find strength in that.
There’s this song and video that have been helping me a lot lately. Birdy’s Wild Horses. Not only is the video totally my aesthetic (mermaids!!!!!!!!) but the lyrics really speak to me. It’s becoming my strength song and it’s very important to me.
Take up space. Don’t be afraid to spread out a little more, stretch, take up space, don’t apologize for it. You’ve spent so much of your life making yourself smaller to allow other people to have more room and it’s time to stop. Take up your own space and don’t apologize. You are a human being and you deserve to take up space and call it your own.
And don’t say you don’t belong anywhere. You belong anywhere you are, everywhere you go, you belong. Maybe people don’t know you well enough to include you in activities, maybe you feel strange in certain places, but that doesn’t mean you don’t belong or that you’re unworthy.
Take up space. It belongs to you.
You are beautiful.
You don’t need anyone to tell you that. You are beautiful in more than one way. You are beautiful in ways that are all your own. Comparing your beauty to that of other girls isn’t going to do anything but make you miserable. Comparison is toxic, and although it’s human to do it, it doesn’t make it any less harmful. Everyone is different, everyone is worthy of love and good things, and everyone has something different to offer to the world. Don’t compare what you have to what others have, because it’s not any more or less than what anyone else has, it’s just different. And that’s how it should be.
Outer beauty is just one small aspect of who you are, too, but that’s not the issue here. You know this already. And it’s okay to love yourself and your beauty. It’s okay to be proud of how you look and to revel in it. You don’t owe it to anyone to be modest, and there is a difference between being vain and being confident. Confidence is a good thing and it comes from loving yourself and who you are, first and foremost. So don’t worry about that. You aren’t vain for saying you’re beautiful; you’re honest.
So, again, you are beautiful and you don’t need anyone to tell you that. Tell yourself, everyday, and know that you’re beautiful in many ways that are all your own.
1. Stop apologizing
2. Stop comparing
3. Keep working
4. One day at a time
5. Breathe – 4 in, 8 out
6. Be patient
7. Ask for help – don’t demand
8. No expectations
9. Appreciate more
10. Stop apologizing
11. Don’t hurt yourself because you’re hurting
12. Art, do more art
13. Dress up
14. Take walks
15. Get ten minutes of sun every day
16. Stop apologizing
17. Let go of what hurts
18. Leave the past in the past
19. Take photographs
20. STOP APOLOGIZING
Sometimes I really dislike myself. I compare myself to other girls and feel like nothing, in terms of looks and ability among other things. It’s stupid but it’s human and part of the horrific Depression that plagues me. I’m working so hard to overcome it and learn to love myself. And in some moments, I do, fleeting as they are, insignificant and stupid as they may be to others. Deep down, I do. I look at myself sometimes and don’t see a person, but every now and then I see me, and I am a beautiful human being in every way. I won’t let anyone, not even my Depression take that away from me. I fight everyday to keep myself, for myself.
I posted this on Instagram but then deleted it later in the midst of a Depressive episode because I felt that no one cared. But it remained on Tumblr, so I’m posting it here because it’s important.