about

Welcome to Brittany's recovery/vent blog. Here you will find entries based around my recovery process in regards to my mental illnesses. Entries may be triggering and, if so, will be password-protected or simply privated. Originally I'd intended for this to be a strictly positive place documenting my recovery, but I realized I need to acknowledge the darker as well as mundane things, too. Overall, this place is for me to document my recovery in all its ups and downs and if you want to see how it goes, feel free to browse around. Passwords will not be freely given for any aforementioned password-protected posts, however. Peace, yo - Brittany.

girl

Brittany. 25. Libra. INxP. Bisexual. Psychology Major. Eclectic Pagan. Hellenic Polytheism. Researcher. Mermaids. Cats. Donuts. Kingdom Hearts. Final Fantasy. Cooking. Neuroscience. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tea. Kpop. Tim Burton. Fleetwood Mac. Nail polish. Plaid. Eyeliner. Boots. Space. Charmed. Symphonic Metal. Drawing. Crystals. Tarot. Sea Witchery. Within Temptation. Writing. Merlin. Anthropology. AOA. Tsuritama. Edgar Allan Poe. Girl's Day. Star Wars. Puppies. Utada Hikaru. Classic Hollywood. The Originals. Once Upon a Time. Seashells. Haikyuu. Singing. Pokemon. Rain. AC/DC. Dangan Ronpa. Astronomy. Candles.

content

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layout

Name: Elastic Heart
Features: Cami from The Originals
Tools: Adobe Photoshop CS3, Notepad
Fonts: Idk man, I made this a while ago
Lyrics: Sia - Elastic Heart
Comments: Cami is a character that I relate to a lot and her death really impacted me. So I started making this layout as a little homage to her, as well as a project and a challenge for me to try some ne things again. I wanted it to look film noir-ish but with a splash of red, because, like, blood. No profound reason beyond that. But the lyrics are what are most important here because they mean the world to me and really define Cami's character for me, as well. So it's a little reminder for me in many ways, about a lot of things.

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Hidama.net, its layouts, content, coding, and etc. is the personal property of Brittany © 2012-2016 with credited usage of images, lyrics, and etc. unless otherwise stated. Please note that password-protected entries are password-protected for a reason and the password is available to close friends only and that won't be changing anytime soon.

Protected:
Saturday 14 January 2017 @ 3:34 pm

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: school, vent

Protected: Farewell 2016
Sunday 1 January 2017 @ 3:07 am

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♥ Brittany

Filed under: letters, new year reflections

kira
Friday 23 December 2016 @ 9:07 pm

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So, I did manage to get a cat after a whole year of wanting one. And she is super precious. She’s a 5 month old kitten (and already so big lmao she’s so big omg) and she’s a brown/grey tabby with black stripes. She has gorgeous little red markings above her big brown eyes and it just makes me so happy. Kira in general makes me very happy.

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(It’s hard to get a good picture of her because 1) she’s super hyper and always moving and 2) lighting in my house sucks. So just deal with my shitty pictures lmao she’s still the most adorable thing ever.)

So, meet Kira. Her hobbies include biting me, biting my phone, eating everything but her cat food, and darting around the house like a banshee and talking. A lot. She’s very vocal lol.

The story goes like this. I went to the shelter asking about kittens and they took me back to where they had all their youngest cats. Kira immediately got my attention. She locked eyes with me and started meowing and being adorable and I just couldn’t say no lmao. I WANTED TO TAKE ALL THE CATS HOME THEY WERE ALL ADORABLE AND VERY CHILL and Kira had a sister in there, too, who was very very chill. Kira was the rowdy one and of course I ended up picking the rowdiest one despite wanting a more calm cat. But I don’t care, Kira and I had that connection, ya know. And she’s very calm when she wants to be lmao she just has lots of energy. But she’s a very good girl and listens when I tell her not to get into something. I just feel bad because I don’t have a lot of energy to keep up with her or play with her for as long as she likes but she does love to snuggle and that makes me SO HAPPY. SO HAPPY.

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So idk what else to say, I’m just very elated to have a furbaby again and especially in time for Christmas. She’s my precious Christmas present this year and it’s very fitting that she loves to sit under the Christmas tree and bat at it lol.

♥ Brittany

Filed under: kira, photo of the day

Protected: i’d like to be your friend, i’d like to love you til the end
Wednesday 21 December 2016 @ 2:55 am

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♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, school, updates, vent

Protected: almost
Thursday 27 October 2016 @ 2:11 am

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♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, self love, vent

Protected: help
Wednesday 28 September 2016 @ 5:41 am

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♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, school

Protected:
Saturday 24 September 2016 @ 9:09 pm

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♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, vent

Protected: stuff and things, things and stuff
Friday 23 September 2016 @ 8:06 pm

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♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, school, vent

It’s been a while
Friday 23 September 2016 @ 6:02 pm

I haven’t posted since July and that makes me sad. I was trying really hard to keep up with the positives in my life so I could have a place to go to to remind me of the good things, but unfortunately that isn’t quite working out.

So, along with a much darker change of layout, this blog is now a vent and recovery blog. Positive recovery entries will still be posted and the established formats will remain (photo of the day, letters, self love posts, etc.) but some not-so-positive stuff will be posted as well, and most likely kept private. Because ultimately, this is a space for me to document the ups and downs in my recovery, to use as a tool to help me towards my goal of recovery. This year has not been kind to me and I am going to talk about those things in a safe, designated environment to help me gain some insight and closure on things. I used to blog regularly for years and then I stopped, and I feel that when I did that, I lost a very important coping mechanism.

So, yeah, welcome to the new blog. Password-protected entries will frequently occur and the passwords will be given only to those I wish to read those particular entries. They will not be freely given. But as this is a space for me and not others’ enjoyment anyway, I don’t see this being a problem.

In any case, this has been an update and hopefully I will get more use out of this blog than I was before.

♥ Brittany

Filed under: updates

Photo of the Day #5
Saturday 9 July 2016 @ 1:42 am

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My internship took a field trip to the zoo today and I saw some otters. It instantly lifted my mood despite how anxious I was about doing groups and walking a lot. I love otters. There’s no point to me saying this other than, I just. Really. Love otters. LOOK HOW MAJESTIC THEY ARE.

I was happy to feel okay, and to be able to remind myself that I was present and capable of doing all that I needed to do. It’s hard for me to do that, I’m always focusing on what I “should” do and that messes me up, it doesn’t help. Instead, I need to start focusing on what I CAN do, what I WANT to do, and act based upon that. I’m not me otherwise.

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I also really liked how I looked today. I added some lipstick and took some random photos because, why not. I have a folder full of selfies from the past couple of years and it makes me happy to have the confidence that I have now, because I never used to have it. I just hope I can translate that confidence into who I am as a person. Sometimes, in some photos, I see me. Others, not so much. It’s an exercise in trying to decipher who I am, I guess. And it’s a struggle.

But I’m working on it. I’m in such a weird place in my life right now but I know it’ll pass. All I can do is keep going. I’ll figure things out as I go.

♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, notes to self, photo of the day