So, I did manage to get a cat after a whole year of wanting one. And she is super precious. She’s a 5 month old kitten (and already so big lmao she’s so big omg) and she’s a brown/grey tabby with black stripes. She has gorgeous little red markings above her big brown eyes and it just makes me so happy. Kira in general makes me very happy.
(It’s hard to get a good picture of her because 1) she’s super hyper and always moving and 2) lighting in my house sucks. So just deal with my shitty pictures lmao she’s still the most adorable thing ever.)
So, meet Kira. Her hobbies include biting me, biting my phone, eating everything but her cat food, and darting around the house like a banshee and talking. A lot. She’s very vocal lol.
The story goes like this. I went to the shelter asking about kittens and they took me back to where they had all their youngest cats. Kira immediately got my attention. She locked eyes with me and started meowing and being adorable and I just couldn’t say no lmao. I WANTED TO TAKE ALL THE CATS HOME THEY WERE ALL ADORABLE AND VERY CHILL and Kira had a sister in there, too, who was very very chill. Kira was the rowdy one and of course I ended up picking the rowdiest one despite wanting a more calm cat. But I don’t care, Kira and I had that connection, ya know. And she’s very calm when she wants to be lmao she just has lots of energy. But she’s a very good girl and listens when I tell her not to get into something. I just feel bad because I don’t have a lot of energy to keep up with her or play with her for as long as she likes but she does love to snuggle and that makes me SO HAPPY. SO HAPPY.
So idk what else to say, I’m just very elated to have a furbaby again and especially in time for Christmas. She’s my precious Christmas present this year and it’s very fitting that she loves to sit under the Christmas tree and bat at it lol.
I haven’t posted since July and that makes me sad. I was trying really hard to keep up with the positives in my life so I could have a place to go to to remind me of the good things, but unfortunately that isn’t quite working out.
So, along with a much darker change of layout, this blog is now a vent and recovery blog. Positive recovery entries will still be posted and the established formats will remain (photo of the day, letters, self love posts, etc.) but some not-so-positive stuff will be posted as well, and most likely kept private. Because ultimately, this is a space for me to document the ups and downs in my recovery, to use as a tool to help me towards my goal of recovery. This year has not been kind to me and I am going to talk about those things in a safe, designated environment to help me gain some insight and closure on things. I used to blog regularly for years and then I stopped, and I feel that when I did that, I lost a very important coping mechanism.
So, yeah, welcome to the new blog. Password-protected entries will frequently occur and the passwords will be given only to those I wish to read those particular entries. They will not be freely given. But as this is a space for me and not others’ enjoyment anyway, I don’t see this being a problem.
In any case, this has been an update and hopefully I will get more use out of this blog than I was before.
Filed under: updates
My internship took a field trip to the zoo today and I saw some otters. It instantly lifted my mood despite how anxious I was about doing groups and walking a lot. I love otters. There’s no point to me saying this other than, I just. Really. Love otters. LOOK HOW MAJESTIC THEY ARE.
I was happy to feel okay, and to be able to remind myself that I was present and capable of doing all that I needed to do. It’s hard for me to do that, I’m always focusing on what I “should” do and that messes me up, it doesn’t help. Instead, I need to start focusing on what I CAN do, what I WANT to do, and act based upon that. I’m not me otherwise.
I also really liked how I looked today. I added some lipstick and took some random photos because, why not. I have a folder full of selfies from the past couple of years and it makes me happy to have the confidence that I have now, because I never used to have it. I just hope I can translate that confidence into who I am as a person. Sometimes, in some photos, I see me. Others, not so much. It’s an exercise in trying to decipher who I am, I guess. And it’s a struggle.
But I’m working on it. I’m in such a weird place in my life right now but I know it’ll pass. All I can do is keep going. I’ll figure things out as I go.