girl
my hope is on fire

Brittany. 28. Libra. INxP. Bisexual. Psychology Student. Eclectic Pagan. Aphrodite. Hekate. Mermaids. Cats. Donuts. Kingdom Hearts. Final Fantasy. Cooking. Neuroscience. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tea. Kpop. Fleetwood Mac. Nail polish. Plaid. Eyeliner. Boots. Space. Charmed. Symphonic Metal. Crystals. Tarot. Sea Witchery. NCT. Within Temptation. Jun Hyosung. Writing. Merlin. Anthropology. AOA. Tsuritama. SHINee. Edgar Allan Poe. Girl's Day. Star Wars. Puppies. Utada Hikaru. Classic Hollywood. The Originals. Seashells. Singing. Pokemon. Rain. AC/DC. Astronomy. Candles.

currently
my dreams are for sale

Time: 1/26/19 @ 1:54am
Mood: Spacey
Music: AOA - Like a Cat
Watching: Music Videos
Doing: Updating thisl ayout
Song Stuck in Head: Within Temptation - Raise Your Banner
Playing: Waiting to play KH3
Obsessions: Kingdom Hearts, NCT

desktop
i dance on a wire

content
i don't want to fail her

Joined Fanlistings
Tumblr
Twitter
Instagram
Last.fm
Blog

layout
she's lost in the darkness

Name: Fading Away
Features: Roxas and Xion of Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
Tools: Adobe Photoshop CS3, Notepad
Images: Took the screencaps myself and idk where I got the official renders sorry
Fonts: Bickham Script Pro, Felix Titling, Lainie Day SH, 04b03
Lyrics: Within Temptation - Lost
Comments: A very old layout I wanted to bring back because I got sick of my last layout and wanted to use a KH layout that I love a great deal. So, here's this. The main focus of this layout is Xion disappearing, bubbles of memories of her fading in the bg, her blurred out by Roxas' side, etc. The lyrics of this song really suit Xion and how Roxas might feel knowing deep down that something is missing--that Xion is missing. So it's a really important layout to me and I just wanted to use it again to bring in the KH3 hype!!!!

dead end
help me i'm buried alive

Hidama.net, its layouts, content, coding, and etc. is the personal property of Brittany © 2012-2018 with credited usage of images, lyrics, and etc. unless otherwise stated. Please note that password-protected entries are password-protected for a reason and the password is available to close friends only and that won't be changing anytime soon.

Protected: i got in!
Thursday 28 February 2019 @ 8:14 am

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: school, vent

Protected: thoughts
Tuesday 26 February 2019 @ 9:36 am

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: goals, school, vent

Protected: Exhausted
Thursday 14 February 2019 @ 9:23 am

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: goals, school, vent

forever as one
Tuesday 5 February 2019 @ 7:14 am

So, I finished KH3. I wanted to make a big post about how much KH means to me BEFORE I even played it butttttttttttt

I never got around to it lol

So here I am, less than a week later and I’ve finished the game. I feel more empty than I have in a long time ngl.

But anyway, I have no one to talk about it with so I’m just going to rant and rave about it here.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SO. FIRST OF ALL.

DAT ENDING.

It’s a lot to take in.

The way it ends is so fucking bittersweet and I’m left with a lot of questions. Namely, did Sora get Kairi back? Was that really her we saw? And why did Sora disappear? WHY. WHAT HAPPENED. WILL SOKAI EVER GET THEIR HAPPY ENDING.

GAWD.

That’s all I want now is just for them to be happy. They shared a paopu and hugged and held hands and did all these cute things and I just really want them to be okay, ok. Damn.

Seeing everyone reunited really killed me, though, in a good way. But how did Roxas and Xion come back? I mean I get that Ienzo and them worked on bringing Roxas back and I suppose they used data from Sora’s heart to do that. I can accept this. But Xion? The organization brought her back from what? The past? I don’t know, maybe I’m just stupid and missing something obvious, it’s more likely than you think. But it seemed really sloppy to me the way the executed their return, it happened so fast and all at once and it was overwhelming in a good way, I guess, but then it was like… there was so much suspense. And it was just thrown in like oh? Haven’t you heard? Replicas are all the rage now lol LIKE I JUST FEEL LIKE MORE COULD’VE BEEN DONE THERE. And a lot was spoiled by that final battle trailer ngl, it was kind of disappointing in a way but it was still nice to see how everything played out and to wait all those scenes out.

When Eraqus appeared from Terra and they all ran to him crying I about lost my damn mind, though. It was so heartbreaking and then the way they set up a memorial for him when they got back home and put their wayfinders on it ksjfskdjfsdjkfsjfsdf GOD. It’s so heartbreaking to me, because BBS is just such a heartbreaking game and there’s so much emotion in those characters. And when Xion burst out crying when she and Axel and Roxas reunited, that was me. AND THEN IN THE END ON THE CLOCKTOWER WITH ISA AND THE TWILIGHT TOWN CREW SKFDJFS IN THEIR NEW OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! God that was satisfying ;; I’m so happy to see them out of those old black coats and in nice new outfits and then Namine and Xion collecting seashells while the boys mess around with a frisbee and ruin Donald’s sand sculpture of himself it’s so CUTE

But then I think about Kairi and Sora and my heart falls. It’s not right without them there and it’s not the ending to the story that I wanted. Overall. But. It opens up a path for KH4 and I’m excited to see how that’s going to play out now.

Like I said, I’m left with an overwhelming feeling of emptiness now and I don’t really know what to do with it but play the game again. I don’t think I’ll be finishing it again anytime soon, though, because those last bosses are really tough and it took a lot out of me just to beat them lmao. It’s ridiculous what they put us through just to complete the game ksdfdfjsdfsdjf And then the Caribbean world with those damn ridiculously hard ship battles and collecting white crabs to power up your ship like. It was ridiculous, also, lmao. I had to do so much white crab farming to level my ship up to max JUST to barely get through that Luxord battle. It was very stupid. And I can’t imagine how the boss that follows would have played out had I not maxed my ship out. It’s just a lot of work but it’s a game and they added a lot of different variations of combat and mini games and such to make it a new experience and I appreciate that a lot!! I just am really bad at video games lmao I love them and I get through them in my own button mashing hack n slash recklessly offensive way but I’m still very bad at the games tbqh.

But like, there’s emptiness, there’s that nagging feeling of incomplete-ness and WHAT HAPPENED TO SORA!!!!!! IS KAIRI BACK OR WAS THAT AN ILLUSION TOO I AM SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s painful to my heart, man.

I also want to say, unrelated to all of this, that from the past few games including KH3, I feel a strong connection to Sora. I never really connected to him before because we are polar opposites but I still loved him because he encompasses qualities that I wish I had. Optimism, especially. But he wavered a lot in DDD and in KH3, he really showed that he’s vulnerable and that he has his limits. And that he spent all that time thinking he was the Only keyblade master and that he was so great at his job all to find himself NOT a master, NOT the chosen one, and being essentially powerless, I relate. I was a gifted child, I thought I had a bright futurea nd that I was good at everything but I’ve had to learn over the years that I’m not. I graduated from college magna cum laude, yes, but it doesn’t mean much when I can’t recall much of what I learned, now does it. Lmao. So it’s just really something I identify with, grappling with your averageness, I suppose. Your lack of power, your lack of skill, but still, you have a lot of heart and SO much love to give and that’s what pulls you through! I think that’s my takeaway message from these games, and I will write that ‘what KH means to me’ essay soon, elaborating more on this.

But for now, I’m just going to sulk for a while at how empty my life feels now that this game is said and done and all I can do is replay it and cry and FEEL THINGS lmao

♥ Brittany

Filed under: video games

Protected: Goodbye 2018
Monday 31 December 2018 @ 9:01 pm

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: new year reflections

Protected: Trash
Friday 28 December 2018 @ 3:12 am

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, self love, vent

Protected: To Becca
Thursday 27 December 2018 @ 5:52 am

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: letters

Protected: you can’t hurt me now
Tuesday 18 December 2018 @ 2:52 am

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: vent

KISS ME ONCEEEE KISS ME TWIIIIIIIIICE
Monday 17 December 2018 @ 11:05 pm

SO. THIS TRAILER RIGHT HERE. IT BROKE ME.

Just. The first half made me all happy and shit but the second half??????????? UM. SOMEONE HELP.

No but like I cried. I legitimately cried. I’m just so overcome with emotion that I can’t deal lmao

Can we just talk about Lea and Kairi being bros and then him going ‘who are you?’ to what appears to be Xion holding her keyblade against him and then doNALD DUCK COLLAPSING IN BATTLE I’M SO SAD and then Kairi being swept away and riKU FIGHTING RIKU REPLICA AND THEN THE WAY HE PROTECTS SORA AND SORA’S SCREAM I CAN’T!!!! HANDLE IT!!!!!!!

I don’t know man, I know it’s probably silly but you have to understand, I have been playing Kingdom Hearts since it came out when I was 12 years old. I have been waiting longer than I was even alive when it came out for KH3 to happen. And now in one month, it’s happening. I can’t even believe. It’s almost here, for real, no delays, nothing. It’s completed and ready for us to play when it’s time. It makes me cry because this series feels like home to me. It really does. It is home. It’s what comforts me when I’m at my lowest. I just really love this series with all my heart and it will always have a very special place in my heart. I hope that one day, if I decide to have children, that I can share this with them and that they’ll feel the same way about it as I do. I don’t expect that, of course, but it would be so nice if it did mean something to them.

But anyway, KH3 will be a fun game, full of emotions and heartache, I’m sure lol I’m ready to play it and cry and feel things. I just wonder if there will be other Disney worlds they haven’t revealed yet. I’m excited to find out if we get more, but if not, I’m pretty content with the selection we have. Would’ve loved to see Nightmare Before Christmas again but there’s not much more story to draw from it so I’m not holding my breath lol

I just… left this for a bit to go read some old things for I don’t know what reason. So, I think I’ll write another entry later about that. But for now, just know that Kingdom Hearts is my world and when KH3 comes out, I will be in a big comfy KH3 hole until I finish it lol it’s gonna be so fun!!!!

♥ Brittany

Filed under: video games

Protected: Relationships
Tuesday 11 December 2018 @ 9:10 pm

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

♥ Brittany

Filed under: mental health, vent